I'm getting kicked out

[zenmondo]

JoLynn wants me out, so out I guess I gotta go. Well I am ready for it.

So I am calling around for low income housing, and went to public housing today for an application.

JoLynn has suggessted a shared custody arrangement. I get Conor afterschool, take him home for bedtime, I get him every weekend I want, and ever other major holiday. I guess I can live with that, its a good offer, and better than not having him at all so I will agree to it.

But now I gotta figure out how I am gonna live on $740 a month. I can get about $200 a month from donating plasma so that is some extra income there. I've lived on less in California, I should be able to handle it in Wyoming.

There is an apartment in neighboring Mills that is for low income people with disabilities, and I hear they are really nice. So I guess that is my first choice. But if I have my druthers closer to Conor's school is better. But I called and left a message there. They didn't call me back today, so I will call again tomorrow, and keep leaving messages until they get back to me.

JoLynn just came in while writing this and we discussed splitting up our assetts. I'll have enough furniture to make house. A tv, dvd player, and the bed, plus the two desks for our computers. Oh I'll get the Playstation too as I will have conor for most of his waking hours.

I'll need a futon couch though, some pots and pans.

We are being pretty grown up about this actually. Well she's done it before.

Something just kills me. I can think back and some of the happiest most content times in my life was with her. I am sure she has painted our whole marriage in her mind as this awful thing she suffered through.

I've given up hope of ever reconciling, and in some ways, its liberating. But I see Wyoming being a very lonely place for me...

Comments

[wyvernfriend.livejournal.com]

good luck with it all to you both.

Do not pass go, do not not collect $200 and talk to someone.

[miss-mimsy.livejournal.com]

I am sure it is just darn lovely for your wife to want you to get the hell out of the house and maintain a living space on your current income. How convenient, she dumps your ass and then you do the clean up.

I am glad it is amicable and I am not suggesting you start a fight, but if it is "really" over, go talk to a lawyer. There should be attorneys you can consult with for free at Family Services in Casper.

http://dfsweb.state.wy.us/csehome/wyoffice.htm#District_7 can point you in the right direction.

I don't know Wyoming Law, but in most states financial agreements are determined by need and ability. If your wife things that it would be better for everyone to fund two households, then she can sure as hell contribute to the effort, just like you will.

Sorry to come down like gangbusters, but I tried for an amicable divorce without an attorney with my first marriage. I got financially fleeced and lost custody of my daughter and every bit of it happened because I didn't talk to an attorney.

Re: Do not pass go, do not not collect $200 and talk to someone.

[j-me-peace.livejournal.com]

Go to Poverty Resistance. I think they have free law services, too.

Re: Do not pass go, do not not collect $200 and talk to someone.

[imnotbob.livejournal.com]

Got to agree with miss_mimsy on this. Get everything in writing, especialy custody issues.

As far as moving, whos name is on the lease? If yours is on it anywhere then you dont have to move.

Re: Do not pass go, do not not collect $200 and talk to someone.

[minteckers.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, but I agree completely with this.

I would fight for full custody and keeping the apartment. She's the one that up and decided she didn't want you around, I don't really see why that means it's suddenly 'her' kid that she gets to dole time out with, and 'her' apartment.

attorney attorney attorney

Re: Do not pass go, do not not collect $200 and talk to someone.

[azurerose.livejournal.com]

I can do nothing but "ITA" to the above. You can be amicable while involving an attorney. She's been through a divorce before, right? You need to be prepared. Don't get left holding the short end of the stick... you owe it to Conor as well as yourself.

Re: Do not pass go, do not not collect $200 and talk to someone.

[fenix-harbinger.livejournal.com]

In these here parts (Washington DC metropolitan area)

Joint custody = no support to either spouse for the child, both have full rights in any and all decisions impacting the childs welfare (one parent cannot decide to move out of the area, change the childs school, etc).

Other potential: Sole custody with visitation rights for the absent parent. Likely, there is support granted to the custodial parent (unless the situation is one of hardship). The custodial parent has the right to make decisions for the child without the consent of the absent parent.

However, I agree with miss_mimsy... best to consult a lawyer, as no one else will be able to *really* advise you on the reality of the law where you are, and advise you on your particular situation.

Re: Do not pass go, do not not collect $200 and talk to someone.

[kethryvis.livejournal.com]

I'm tossing my hat behind this too... getting a lawyer and getting it in writing protects *all* of you. It spells out for both of you what is fair and expected, and that relieves stress on Conor. My parents' split was more-or-less amicable (more = mom, less = dad), but they still got a lawyer to spell out assets and custody (in my case, my parents had joint custody, but my dad had physical custody. It allowed me to see both parents as much as I wanted, but lived with my dad since he had the more stable job that wouldn't uproot him whenever they felt like it).

love, luck, and light my friend.

[projectx.livejournal.com]

New beginnings are often rough to start, but from the sounds of it needed for both of you.
I am sure that she has not developed some evil idea of what your marrige is all about, just as I have not with Doug. Often a common misconception of the hurting openly part of the party. I am sure this has been hard on her as well. Please try to keep that in mind as time passes. When both are healed it is a lot easier to be friendly without the made up bitterness that sems to get you through the moment. Unfortunately, people tend to buy into their own bullshit even if they know it is in fact bullshit whilst doing it. I am not saying it is wrong to hurt, but I am saying is keep in mind what is true vs. what is hurt.

[aint2nuts.livejournal.com]

I am sorry you are going through this. Since you will be having your son most of the time, I think she needs to pony up on the child support -- for you.

Hugs. Think about getting alimony too.

[sweetmegumi.livejournal.com]

I thought she said she would let you have full custody of him.
I agree with the above person. Make sure you know your rights.

[darkphoenixrisn.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

And another thing...

[j-me-peace.livejournal.com]

Dont be the nice guy. YOu dont have to be a dick, but dont lay down and take it either. Be strong, be powerful, and make sure you arent getting the short end of the deal. If you are having a hard time doing that for yourself (you may be feeling selfish) then do it ALL for Conner. THAT you can justify.

Best of luck

[ellmyruh.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to see all this unfold, considering I met you guys under different circumstances and because I was an unwitting player in a divorce when I was a kid. For Conor's sake, I'm happy to see that he's a priority for both of you, and I know he'll be able to sense that you two both think he's important. Knowing Mommy and Daddy love him will help him in more ways than can ever be measured.

[elvenforever.livejournal.com]

I am truly sorry it's come to this, Zen. And especially for Conor. Divorce is always hard on kids.

I'll pray for all of you.

[goldenmoonrose.livejournal.com]

I am so glad that things are going well, considering.

[ashla-bogan.livejournal.com]

I think you may have to get a lawyer, just to protect yourself from Jo changing her mind at some point, which she is apt to do. And to protect Conor from further distress. I love you and I wish the best. Once this is over you'll see it gets better. HUGS

[ashiegrrrl.livejournal.com]

Get a lawyer. You need everything in writing, especially that regarding who has custody, child support payments, etc. The amount of child support depends on who has the child which percent of the time, I believe 50/50 means no child support, but it doesn't sound 50/50 to me. You may be entitled to something, but that also depends on the financial situation of those involved.

A friend of mine was going through an amicable divorce and decided to consult a lawyer just to make sure she was getting enough child support. Turns out her ex was not paying enough, both because they didn't know enough about the legal system. Talk to a lawyer, I know there are lawyers who will consult for free the first time and lawyers for low-income/disabled people.

I love you and am sorry this has happened, but this seems like an improvement from the previous situation! *hugs*

[maki-tk.livejournal.com]

I can't say anything that hasn't already been said.
Just poking this here so you know that I did read it and hope the three of you get through this allright.

[ivy]

I'm sorry to hear it. Best of luck with finding an affordable and convenient place.