I'm crazy (no I'm not) YES I AM!

There is a popular belief that if one is capable of wondering if they are crazy or not, that it is a sure sign that they are NOT crazy, for having the facility to doubt one's sanity shows that one is not insane, as a crazy person would think themselves to be completely normal.

It is a comforting thought, except for one thing: IT IS TOTAL AND UTTER BULLSHIT.

I AM crazy and I know it.

I am having a not-so-good day in the mental-health department. I hallucinated while driving today.

There was a cheetah in the bed of the pick-up in front of me. The small rational part of my mind said, "that is not a cheetah. Go away, go away, go away." Yet, the hallucination persisted, this beautiful creature staring back at me with its yellow eyes, gaze steady. "That is not a cheetah, that is not a cheetah, that is not a cheetah."

The cheetah persisted for a few minutes, and finally, stopping at a light, the cheetah finally decided to become a pile of manure -- and even then, things did not seem quite real.

I am all out of sorts, and I am not trusting my perceptions right now. The world seems slightly sideways at the moment. Like everything is at a 20-degree tilt, and reality is out of phase with gravity.

I feel like I am percieving and interacting with the world through some kind of psychic fog, slighty apart from it all, but still affected.

Its kind of like being drunk, or dizzy, only slower.

This is more than a mood-swing, this is something else.

I think I am having a small psychotic episode, and I think I just need to hide in bed for a while, and hope it gets better before worse.


I better not read anymore of my friends page, until I can be sure what you guys are actually saying. I don't trust the words to stand still at this point.

I go away now.

Update: This is buffalogal. I am in the process of getting him help. Hopefully tomorrow he will be able to see someone.