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Reoccuring Dream
Jul. 20th, 2005 09:19 amI have not been remembering my dreams since I started taking Geodon, but last night's dream is pretty clear, as it is a reoccuring theme that I have often: me losing it and just being very violent.
Last night, the victims of my rage were the usual targets in my dream: bullying jerks. They begin their bully bullshit on me, and I mop the floors with them. In these dreams I am young again between 13-16 years old.
Though last night's dream had something that I have never done before. I had one bully in an uncomfortable pin, and was making him scream in pain by the application of a pressure point on the neck. I then threatened the bully with what I suppose was the scariest thing my subconcious could come up with to scare a bully, "When I am done with you, I am going to teach every nerd and geek in the school how to do this!"
That I am still dreaming this makes me wonder if I still have unresolved issues from all the bullying and teasing I got as a kid. But I thought that my desire to teach as a means to combat bullies was interesting -- in a very old paper early in my Aikido career, I did put down "making bullies obsolete" or something like that as one of my goals. But my attitude in the dream was very un-Aiki. Come to think of it, the application of technique was also non-Aiki.
Last night, the victims of my rage were the usual targets in my dream: bullying jerks. They begin their bully bullshit on me, and I mop the floors with them. In these dreams I am young again between 13-16 years old.
Though last night's dream had something that I have never done before. I had one bully in an uncomfortable pin, and was making him scream in pain by the application of a pressure point on the neck. I then threatened the bully with what I suppose was the scariest thing my subconcious could come up with to scare a bully, "When I am done with you, I am going to teach every nerd and geek in the school how to do this!"
That I am still dreaming this makes me wonder if I still have unresolved issues from all the bullying and teasing I got as a kid. But I thought that my desire to teach as a means to combat bullies was interesting -- in a very old paper early in my Aikido career, I did put down "making bullies obsolete" or something like that as one of my goals. But my attitude in the dream was very un-Aiki. Come to think of it, the application of technique was also non-Aiki.
