Reoccuring Dream

[zenmondo]

I have not been remembering my dreams since I started taking Geodon, but last night's dream is pretty clear, as it is a reoccuring theme that I have often: me losing it and just being very violent.

Last night, the victims of my rage were the usual targets in my dream: bullying jerks. They begin their bully bullshit on me, and I mop the floors with them. In these dreams I am young again between 13-16 years old.

Though last night's dream had something that I have never done before. I had one bully in an uncomfortable pin, and was making him scream in pain by the application of a pressure point on the neck. I then threatened the bully with what I suppose was the scariest thing my subconcious could come up with to scare a bully, "When I am done with you, I am going to teach every nerd and geek in the school how to do this!"


That I am still dreaming this makes me wonder if I still have unresolved issues from all the bullying and teasing I got as a kid. But I thought that my desire to teach as a means to combat bullies was interesting -- in a very old paper early in my Aikido career, I did put down "making bullies obsolete" or something like that as one of my goals. But my attitude in the dream was very un-Aiki. Come to think of it, the application of technique was also non-Aiki.

Comments

[kendokamel.livejournal.com]

Un-Aiki or not, I can totally understand it.

I often fantasize about what it would have been like if I had had the meagre self-confidence back in middle school and high school that I have now...

[opheliasclone.livejournal.com]

I do think it's a generally noble principal to want to stop bullies from hurting others. It's interesting, though, that you're always alone with the bully. That is, you're not protecting an outside person who was the recipient of bullying.

[zenmondo.livejournal.com]

In last night's dream there were three bullies. The other two would stand apart, mouths agape while I trounced one.

I think I am alone when the bullying occurs, because, a bully hates an audience. Most of my encounters were when I was alone, or with a single friend who would not jump in. But there is always the knowledge that I am never a bully's sole victim.

[j-me-peace.livejournal.com]

I have dreams that come back over and over again. Im powerless in them, and I wake up scared. Somehow, even tho they are only dreams they kill me... Sorry you have some.

Are you coming tonite? I hope I told you, but we are switching writing group to tonite at 7 at METRO...

Hope to see you.

Peace to you.

[zenmondo.livejournal.com]

I think I will make it. Are we bringing anything?

If we keep this night and time, it will conflict once a month with my Go Club, which coincidently also meets at the Metro.

[j-me-peace.livejournal.com]

We can look at other times. i was out for m,t, and thus.
Last time we just wrote and read - but if you want anything edited, please bring it.

I look forward to seeing you!
Peace!