I'm sorry, but nobody gets to have their cake and eat it too. If she is done with you, then she must prepare to set you free. And if she refuses, then I hope you will eventually free yourself all the same. You can't be a ghost of yourself forever. It will take too large a toll. Better to exit with your ego intact and a fair warning to her, rather than wait for a breakdown to occur.

If she does not agree to counceling, understand that you can still go alone and get some help on determining what to do to relieve the pain you're feeling. Sometimes you can get no resolution from the person you love, but you can still find it in your own heart.

This is excellent, wise and sage advice.

You have the right to self determination. You have the right to choose your own path. You do not have to comply with the half-life she is passive aggressively foisting upon you.